Diary or Journal: My Thoughts

Good morning everyone! Okay, maybe not everyone since I'm the only one following me! Actually that probably is a good thing...  think about it... following me.... ahh don't think so!

Hope the morning goes well, I was happy to know I could get out of bed this morning. At my age, I'm grateful for good health and good bones! Now if only my memory was as good as my bones! You see yesterday I had it all figured out what I wanted to post today. Thing is, when I get up in the mornings it's a brand new day! So of course I don't remember what all I wanted to say today.

Anybody else feel that way??? Oh yeah, no one seems to be responding to me except myself! Well, that's just fine. So today I want to share my thoughts on the difference between a diary and a journal. Not that I know the difference but I'm going to put my two cents worth of thoughts into explaining what I think is the differences.

Remember back when you are a little girl and daddy gave you a diary that had a lock and key? I do, well, sortof. I slightly remember the little book, but don't have a clue what I wrote in it. Many, many years later, I was given a book by a friend to use as a journal. Found myself writing in it almost every day. Ended up filling up that book and buying more. Soon I had three filled and suddenly stopped writing. Want to know why?

So my thoughts for a diary lean more to the teenage years when you have that first 'boyfriend' and you can't tell your parents about him cause you know they'd disapprove. And your best friend would be jealous cause of course she liked him too! So you write it in your diary. All those little thoughts and feelings that you had back when you felt you were in love! 

To me, that's a diary. Good thoughts, good feelings, good things going on in your life. But, there is a dark side. Because nothing is good or perfect all the time. So you start writing the other stuff and hiding your little book cause you don't want your parents to find it. And oh yeah, that 'boyfriend' you thought you had, well he turned his back on you and went after your best friend! So of course you had to write that in your little book, along with the tears that marred the pages as you poured out your little heart.

Okay, so don't go thinking that happened to me. Cause it didn't! Well, I did have a diary... but the other stuff nah, didn't happen. Just can imagine it happening to someone!

Back to that question of why I had at least three journals filled.... I have a tendency to tire of different things that I start and so I put them aside until years later. That's when I opened my journal and reread everything that had been going on in my life at that time. Well, that was enough to induce a crying spell, then I ripped out every page from every book and tore them up! 

You see, I found myself writing only sad, stupid things that were going on in my life at that time. Very few days did I sit down and write some happy thoughts. It's not that my life was bad, because it wasn't, it just felt so at the time. Perhaps I'm not meant to be happy. I put on a good front to those around me. So the journals went by the wayside..... for another several years.

Then one day I saw a journal and I thought why not try it again. So I bought it. Started writing again, soon filled the pages and bought another one and you know how it goes. And of course once again, I was down, depressed, who knows what else was going on... and I picked up the first book to reread. And discovered that once again very few pages had anything happy happening.... so the tears fell, the pages got wet and I wondered why am I doing it again? So I ripped those pages out... sounds repetitive doesn't it? Like girl, didn't you learn the first time around? Anyway soon all the pages were ripped and thrown away... sort of like throwing away your life on trivial stuff and not concentrating on what will make you happy!

So tell me, do you keep a journal? Do you write the bad stuff as well as the good? Or like me have you found that most pages are filled with stuff that would make a grown woman cry?

Please do not think that my life has been one bad experience after another. That's not the case. I have had many fun, glorious days, filled with love and joy! My family brings me happiness! My grandchildren are a blessing from God and I wouldn't trade what I've been through in my life for anything! Because I wouldn't have my children if things had turned out differently.

However, I am at the age now that I would like to feel that I've accomplished something good with my life (not counting my kids, of course that was the good part!), but something useful, something meaningful, or how about something that will pay the bills!

First, I wrote and self published a book. Well, I sold some but didn't really pursue it enough to make anything from it. It was supposed to be a three part series. I'm half way through the second book, and like most things, set it aside until another day. So it's still sitting many years later. Next, I tried making jewelry, which was fun and I enjoyed that. Sold several pieces at Market Days in Grapevine. And my last project, making candles. Now that I really like to do, but unfortunately my stuff is stored in a storage locker in New Mexico! So you see, whatever I start out doing, never gets finished, or off the ground enough to bring in an income. And honestly, I really want to start something that I can do, become good at it, and make a living from it! Because there is no living with just social security!

Of course none of that has anything to do with a diary or journal. Or does it? You be the judge, let me know your thoughts and please subscribe to follow my blog. Let's talk! I'll listen and maybe we'll connect our thoughts and learn from each other!

Have a great day!

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